


Learning About Love Together

by starrynebula



Series: Morgan and Reid's Journey [3]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: M/M, Male Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-28
Updated: 2012-06-01
Packaged: 2017-11-06 13:13:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/419305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrynebula/pseuds/starrynebula
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Faced with the loss of friend and co-worker, Emily Prentiss, both Morgan and Reid discover there is a lot they didn't realize about love and what it means. Will they figure it out together or cling to what they know? Warning: Slash. Starts during episode of "Lauren" so spoilers for that ep and the next few after it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Probably shouldn't have started yet another story, but my muse insisted. This will be at least a three-shot story, possibly longer, I'll just have to see where it goes. This story fits in with "Watch Over Him" and "Protect Me From the Unknown" . 
> 
> Story starts between the hospital and funeral scenes in the episode "Lauren".
> 
> Disclaimer: The characters of Criminal Minds are not mine, I'm just borrowing them for entertainment purposes.

“ _Let me go.”_

Those were the three words that kept echoing through SSA Derek Morgan’s head. The last words that Emily had said to him.

~ _Probably the last words she said to anyone,_ ~ Morgan thought bitterly, downing the rest of the dark liquid in the glass. It burned going down but the rest of the pain was being numb by the effects of the alcohol. He just wanted to forget the sight of Emily with a wooden stake driven into her stomach telling him to let her go. 

Morgan placed his glass on the lop of the liquor cabinet and reached for the bottle of whiskey. Eventually the alcohol would allow him to forget for a little while at least. Even that respite would be a blessing at that point. As his fingers wrapped around the cold whiskey bottle though another hand came to rest on top of his own.

“I think you’ve had enough for tonight,” a quiet, sympathetic voice said from behind Morgan.

“No, I haven’t,” Morgan replied his words coming out slow. “I can still hear her voice.”

“And in the morning you’ll still hear here voice, only you’ll have a killer hangover to go with it. Alcohol won’t get rid of the pain. It’s only going to mask it.”

“You would know about that wouldn’t you,” Morgan said bitterly. “At least the alcohol is legal.”

“But still just as destructive if you let it take control of your life.”

Morgan whirled around, the man behind him instinctively taking a step backwards. “I’m not letting it control my life. I just want one night of peace. I’m not you. I’m not so weak that I’m going to let it take over my life,” he yelled.

The words hurt just as much as if he had been physically slapped. The second man, took a few more steps backwards. He knew Morgan wasn’t thinking clearly at this point. That it was the grief and the alcohol speaking, and not his friend. However, there was also no mistaking the anger on the older man’s face. Anger, that even without the alcohol, was at times just barely contained. ~I _f Morgan could throw those words at me in this state, he could also possibly hit me,_ ~ the man thought as he kept taking steps backwards.

In the fog induced by the alcohol, it took Morgan a few moments to realize what he had just said. As he saw the face of the one person in the world that meant the most to him, he suddenly regretted it. The words of an apology were on the tip of his tongue but he couldn’t form them. Instead, he watched the younger man back away from him.  The hurt and fear clear in his eyes.

Then the younger man was falling, having back into the corner of the coffee table without realizing it. Losing his balance, he fell backward, his shoulder catching the hard edge of the coffee table. The impact with the floor forced the air from his lungs. He felt his head bounce off the hardwood floor, the pain from both impacts taking away from the stabbing pain in his temples momentarily. Stunned from the fall, he laid there looking up at the ceiling, trying to will his body to take a breath.

“Spencer!” Morgan called out, moving forward. 

It took only a few steps to cover the distance between them. Shoving the coffee table off to the side, Morgan knelt down next to the younger man. Reaching out, he placed his hands on either side of Reid’s face, looking into the unfocused eyes. As, his hands made contact with the younger man’s skin, Reid drew in a deep breath.

“Spencer, talk to me,” Morgan pleaded, his words slightly slurred by the alcohol.

“I’m fine,” Spencer managed to get out, knowing that those words weren’t exactly accurate. His shoulder hurt as did the back of his head and the knee he had ran into the coffee table in the first place with. The same knee he had been shot in over a year ago. Still he didn’t think anything was serious.

“I’m sorry,” Morgan told him, a new kind of grief in his eyes. 

Reaching up, wincing a little as his shoulder twinge with the movement, Reid placed his own hands on Morgan’s arms, right above his wrists.

“It’s not your fault that I’m clumsy. I should have watched where I was going.”

“If I hadn’t yelled,” Morgan said, even through the haze of the alcohol recalling the words he had yelled at his boyfriend. Words that he knew he could never take back and which he knew had cut deep. “I’m sorry.”

“I know it wasn’t really you talking,” Reid replied simply.

Morgan stopped himself from protesting. It wouldn’t get him anywhere and it wasn’t really all that important. The words were said and nothing could take them back. 

“Are you okay?” Morgan asked instead, his hands still on Reid’s face. 

“I think so. Just a few bruises,” Spencer replied, letting go of Morgan’s arms so he could use his arms to help himself sit up.

Letting his hands fall from Reid’s face, Morgan helped the younger man sit up. Instinctively his right hand went to the back of Reid’s head, looking for injuries. As his finger tips brushed a lump already forming, he heard the younger man give a hiss of pain. 

“Perhaps we should get you looked at.”

“I’m fine,” Reid told him. “I never loss consciousness. It’s just a bump. It’ll go away in a few days, just like the other bumps and bruises,” he said, his hand unconsciously going to rub his sore left shoulder.

Morgan caught the movement, and was soon unbuttoning the younger man’s shirt, so he could get a look at the shoulder. Slipping the shirt down off the left shoulder, he could see a bruise already forming across the shoulder blade.

“Damn.”

“I’ll be fine,” Reid protested, moving away from Morgan and climbing onto the couch. He leaned back against the cushions.

“I’m going to get some ice packs,” Morgan said, getting to his feet. Short of physically dragging his boyfriend to the hospital, he knew he wasn’t going to get him there.

Retrieving two ice packs from the freezer, Morgan returned to the living room. Reid was still where he had left him. Walking over to the couch, the dark-skinned profiler sat down next to the other man. It wasn’t long before they were both stretched out on the couch, Morgan’s arms protectively around Reid. The older man could feel the coolness of the ice packs, one against his chest, where Reid’s left shoulder rested, the other in the crook of his elbow, as Reid’s head laid cradled in his arm.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Reid said.

“You’re right though, I’d already drunk enough alcohol and in the morning it would have just been worse. I’m sorry I said those things to you. You’re one of the strongest people I know.”

“I accept your apology, but that’s not what I meant,” Reid replied. “Emily’s death wasn’t your fault.”

“If I had only been a few minutes earlier or we had been a little quieter, she might still be with us.”

“And if we had gotten Fahey to talk before they shot him or Garcia had found the photos of Declan just a few minutes sooner, then she might be with us. Face it Morgan, there are a whole bunch of things that if they had only happened a little differently, the two of us wouldn’t be attending a funeral tomorrow but dwelling on them won’t do any good. We did the best that we could.  It just wasn’t enough this time.”

“We can’t save everyone, right?” Morgan said bitterly, his voice wavering.

“Sometimes knowing that doesn’t make things any easier,” Reid replied, thinking of Adam, Tobias, and Ryan Phillips. People that he hadn’t been able to save despite his best efforts. Now Emily was a part of that list.

“At least she knew you were there. Emily knew that she wasn’t going to die alone. I’m sure that meant a lot to her in those final moments,” Reid said. “Just like you telling her you were proud of her meant a lot to her. Derek, you got to say good-bye.”

“And you didn’t,” Morgan murmured, resting his chin on the top of Reid’s head.

“It’s okay,” Reid replied calmly. “I know she left to protect us and if she had been able to, she would have said good-bye. I think in her heart, Emily wanted to return to us when everything was over, even if logically she knew there was a good chance that might not happen.”

~ _He’s too calm_ , ~ Morgan thought, as he breathed in the smell of Reid’s shampoo. Though he was fighting to hold back tears, Reid’s eyes weren’t even glistening. ~He hasn’t cried since we were at the hospital. He’s been the strong one through all of this. The one trying to put things in perspective. The one trying to comfort me though I know his heart is just as broken as my own, ~ he thought, coming to the realization that the younger man was holding it together for his sake. ~Eventually, he’s going to have to grieve for her himself and I’m going to have to be ready to comfort him.~

Tonight though Morgan knew he couldn’t do that, as he felt the tears start to roll down his cheeks. He held Reid a little tighter, taking comfort from the warm feeling of him in his arms. Reid reached up and placed a hand on the back of Morgan’s head, as he heard the first sobs from the older man.

“Everything is going to be okay, Derek,” he said softly. “We’ve got each other.”

**************************************************************

Sighing in frustration, Derek Morgan pulled apart the haphazard knot he had put in his tie. Though standing in front of the mirror, he was still having trouble with the tasks as unshed tears blurred his vision.

“Here let me,” Reid said calmly, stepping in front of the older man, his own tie already neatly tied and in place.

Morgan let his arms drop to his side, silently letting Reid make short work of the stubborn tie. 

“There you go,” Reid said, as he finished the task. 

Reid let his hands rest of Morgan’s chest and leaning close, pressed his lips to Morgan’s. Desperate for the comfort of human contact on this dismal day that he would be burying a good friend, Morgan returned the kiss. Reaching up, he let his fingers get lost in the younger man’s brown locks. As his finger tips brushed the lump still present from the night before, he heard a muffled moan of pain come from the younger man.

“I’m sorry,” Morgan said, breaking away. He took a step back and looked into Reid’s eyes. “I never meant . . .”

“Last night wasn’t your fault,” Reid replied, cutting the older man off. “I tripped. Stop blaming yourself.”

Morgan looked down into the brown eyes of his boyfriend and saw only sincerity and grief there. He reached out and placed a hand on either side of the younger man’s face and leaning close, pressed his lips against the younger man’s once again, knowing that once they left this house, this kind of contact between the two wouldn’t be able to happen. Besides JJ, no one knew about their relationship and for now that was how they both wanted it to stay. 

If Strauss were to find out, at best one or both of them would be first to leave the unit. At worst, it could cost them both of their jobs. Both men knew that it was worth that risk. That being together meant more than the job. However, neither wanted to put their teammates in an awkward and uncomfortable position nor put their careers in jeopardy. If Strauss found out that someone had known about them, she wouldn’t hesitate to use the information to her advantage. There was no love lost between any of the team and the section chief, and neither Reid nor Morgan wanted to give her any fuel.

After breaking from the kiss, the two men silently headed for the front door. It was time to go lay their friend to rest and try to start the healing process. Both of them knew that they needed to go on. Needed to keep doing the job to the best of their ability. It was what Emily would have wanted.

As he reached for the doorknob of the front door, Morgan paused. He looked over at the younger man beside him. “Spencer, you’ve been my anchor these past couple of days. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

“I was just returning the favor,” Reid replied softly, looking away as he felt the color rise in his cheeks.

“I always thought this relationship was about me needing to protect and care for you. It’s not. It’s about protecting and caring about one another. I know there is something going on that you’re keeping from me, Spencer, and I don’t know why. Just know, that when you’re ready to open up about it, I’m here. Just like you’ve been here for me these last couple of days.”

Reid looked back at his boyfriend. He saw only love there in the older man’s eyes. He thought about what he told Emily, about not wanting to tell the others because they would make him feel like a baby. Suddenly, he wasn’t so sure about the accuracy of those words. Given the relationship he had with Morgan, though granted heavy make-out sessions were as far as they had gone so far, didn’t he have the right to know that something might be wrong.

“I know,” was all he said though, not wanting to think about that right now. There would be time later to figure out their relationship. 

As Morgan turned the doorknob with one hand, he reached out and took Reid’s hand with his other. He gave the hand a slight squeeze, feeling the gesture returned, before letting go and stepping through the front door. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The characters of Criminal Minds are not mine, I'm just borrowing them for entertainment purposes. Some dialogue from the episode "With Friends Like These" is used in this chapter.

“Kevin ate the ‘T’ and the ‘E’,” Penelope Garcia said, as both she and Derek Morgan looked down at the box of cupcakes the blonde held.

Morgan gave a small laugh, and reached out to touch Garcia’s shoulder. “Come on,” he told her, as the team briefing on their next case was coming up. He draped one arm across her shoulders.  “Hey listen, I have an idea. You and I can eat the ‘U’ and the ‘A’ and that way it would say congratulations grad,” he told her as they walked.

Garcia murmured her consent as she looked down at the cupcakes. “And here I always imagined you feeding me strawberries,” the blonde joked, the two friends sharing a smile. 

As they continued toward the conference room, Garcia’s smile faded. She wasn’t sure that it was any of her business but she had to ask. “You and Reid didn’t have a fight did you?” the blonde asked, fearfully. 

“No. Why?” Morgan asked.

“Things just seemed strained between you and though the two of you didn’t talk at Seaver’s graduation, I saw him casting glances your way, like something happened between the two of you and he wanted to talk to you but couldn’t and I just can’t stand the thought of the two of you being mad at each other so close to losing Emily.”

Morgan sighed. Things had been strained between him and the young genius the last few days, and if Penelope had picked up on it, Hotch and Rossi had probably too. He knew what was wrong too, but it wasn’t something he could share with anyone on the team, not even Garcia, because it didn’t just involve him. This wasn’t just his secret to share when he felt it was time. When or if he and Reid told the team about their relationship was something that the two of them had to decide on together.

_Following Emily’s funeral and wake, they had ended up back at his house. It didn’t surprise either of them, as Reid had been spending more and more time with him. The two had called it an early night. Seeking comfort, they had laid in the bed, arms protectively around one another._

_It had started out as just kissing. Before long though, Morgan realized that kissing wasn’t enough for him. As lost and empty as he felt after laying his friend and co-worker to rest, he wanted more. Wanted to be able to feel another person’s bare skin on his own. Looking down at Reid, whose head lay resting on the pillow, he felt a sudden strong desire to have control over his life. Prentiss had been taken away from him, but Reid hadn’t. Their relationship was something that he could control._

_Feeling frustrated and empty inside, Morgan had started going further. He wanted to feel something other than the numbness that had washed over him. Morgan hadn’t missed the surprise on Reid’s face as he had started removing clothing but the younger man had protested. Even though Morgan’s activities were a bit on the rough side, not a word had escaped the young genius’ lips. Despite that, the dark-skinned profiler could see and feel the trembling in the younger man’s body. That was what had broken through to Morgan in his frenzy and he had stopped. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t what their relationship was about. Morgan knew if he started it would be about his needs with no concern of the man he loved. Not tonight at least. That wasn’t what his relationship with Reid was about. This wasn’t even about their relationship but about the emptiness that was within him._

_Morgan hadn’t gone through with it. Feeling ashamed about what he had almost done, knowing it would have been no more right than what Buford had done to him,  he had left the room then. Had spent the night on his couch. Reid had left sometime during the night. Other than exchanges at work, they hadn’t spoken since._

“Don’t worry about us, Baby Girl. Reid and I are fine,” Morgan told her, not really believing the words himself. He knew he would need to speak with Reid, but now wasn’t the time.

*~*

Despite visiting the previous crime scenes and gathering information, the team didn’t have a profile yet. Reid felt that they hadn’t made much progress, and had a feeling his teammates felt the same way. As he walked out of the bathroom following his shower though, clad now in flannel pants and a T-shirt, that from the way it fit he had a feeling was actually Morgan’s, Reid decided to put the case out of his mind for the night. From the dull throb in his temples he knew one of his headaches were coming on, and hoped the aspirin he had just taken might ward it off before it got too intense.

Propping the pillows up against the headboard, Reid pulled out the three books about sexual relationships that he had recently picked up. Though he wasn’t sure what he had done wrong the other night to suddenly upset Morgan so much that the older man had retreated to the couch, he was determined to figure it out. He was hopeful that in the process of that search he might also learn what he should be doing in the current situation. He had gotten more than a couple of pages when he heard a knock at the door.

“Who is it?” Reid called out.

“It’s me, Reid,” Morgan replied, his voice carrying easily through the hotel room door. “We need to talk.”

“Just a minute,” Reid replied quickly, closing the book he was reading. Grabbing the other two, he put the three books together at the foot of the bed and threw the folded back blanket over them. Getting to his feet, he walked over to the door and after peering through the peep hole, opened the door. “Is something going on with the case?” Reid asked, his body filling up the space between the open door and the doorframe.

“No. Something is going on with us and I want to talk about it.”

“Maybe this should wait until we get back home,” Reid suggested, hoping that it would give him enough time to figure out what he had done wrong. He didn’t want to lose Morgan though right now that was what felt like was happening. “What if someone finds you here.”

Morgan shrugged his shoulders. “We tell them we were discussing the case if you want not that there is anything saying we can’t spend time together while not working on a case,” he replied. He realized that one or the other of them showing up at the other’s hotel room had never been a problem before. He couldn’t help but wonder what was going on.

Silently, Reid took a step back opening the door the rest of the way. Morgan walked into the room and Reid slowly pushed the door shut behind him. The genius took a couple of deep slow breaths before turning around, trying to calm himself down. His heart felt like it was pounding in his chest so loudly that he was sure that Morgan could hear it.

~ _What do I do? Should I let him guide the conversation seeing as he’s the one that came to my room? What if he’s here just to break up with me? Should I just apologize and beg him to tell me what I did wrong?_ ~

These were just the start of the questions that went through his head as he watched Morgan walk toward the single King size bed. Reid could feel the throbbing in his temples growing stronger

“Spencer,” Morgan began, using the younger man’s first name now that there was no chance of the two of them being overheard. “We need to talk about what happened the other night and work things out one way or the other. People are starting to realize that something is strained between the two of us.”

Reid clung to the words ‘one way or the other’. ~ _I’ve got a chance. I might be able to convince him not to leave me too, if I can only figure out what I did wrong the other night. Was there something I should have been doing that I didn’t do? Things just started happening so fast and I wasn’t sure how I should react but I wanted to make him happy,_ ~ Reid thought, taking a few steps away from the door. He couldn’t make his lips form any words though.

Reaching the bed, Morgan sat down, feeling something hard beneath him. “What’s this?” Morgan asked, getting to his feet again.

“Just some books I was reading,” Reid said quickly, rushing forward in the hopes of getting a hold of the books before Morgan saw what they were about. He could feel the heat of his cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

Unaware of Reid’s embarrassment or rush to keep him from seeing the books, Morgan had already uncovered the books and were reading the titles. Before he could comment on them though Reid was speaking. 

“Morgan I don’t know what I did or didn’t do that upset you the other night. I was hoping reading up on sex and relationships might help me figure it out so I knew what to apologize to you for, but I haven’t yet. Still, I want you to know that whatever it was, I’m sorry and if you just tell me what it was, I’ll promise not to do it again. I just don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you. Especially not now. You’re my anchor. The one sure thing I know I can depend on in this world. Please, Morgan, don’t leave me! I’ll do anything you want me to, just don’t leave me.”

The words came out in a panicked rush that took Morgan by surprise. This was definitely not how he thought this conversation would go having come to Reid’s room intending on apologizing to the younger man. Never once did it occur to him that Reid would think that he had done something wrong.

Morgan let the book he was holding fall back onto the bed. Reid had already moved within arm’s length of him, and Morgan reached out to place a hand on either side of the younger man’s face.

“Pretty Boy, you didn’t do anything wrong the other night.”

“But you stopped. You went to sleep on the couch.”

“Because I was ashamed of what I almost did. I was hurting and feeling empty inside and wanted to feel in control of something in my life. It’s not that I don’t want you in that fashion, I do, but not under those circumstances. When we finally do take our relationship that far, I want it to be special, not something I’m doing to fill something that is missing inside of me. I could tell you weren’t into it that night.”

“It wasn’t that. I just wasn’t expecting . . . you took me by surprise. It would have been okay . . .”

“No, Spencer, it wouldn’t have. Not that way. Not when you were so passive even when I could feel your body trembling in fear and all I was worried about was my needs and when I realized what I was about to do, well it reminded me of what Buford did to me . . .”

“It’s not the same, Morgan. Buford forced you to do something you didn’t want to do.”

“From the way you were reacting, it seemed to me that you weren’t exactly into it that night yourself, even if you weren’t making any protests.”

“It’s not that I didn’t want to it was just that . . .” Reid let his words trail off, unable to finish the sentence. He often felt so much younger than the others on the team, not just in age but in experiences to, and this was just another area that he was realizing he was far too naive about. ~No wonder they all baby me, ~ he thought, taking a step back out of Morgan’s grasp as his gaze fell to the carpet between them.

“It was just what?” Morgan questioned. When Reid didn’t answer or look out at him, he reached out and placed a hand under the younger man’s chin and gently brought his face up to meet his gaze. Morgan read the swirl of emotions that was in them all with seeing the dullness of pain that had become an all to common sight, in the younger man’s eyes. “Come on, Spencer, talk to me.”

“I didn’t know what to do,” Spencer said softly. “I mean we hadn’t even discussed going further with our relationship and I still thought I had time to read up . . . “

”You’ve never been in a physical relationship with anyone?” Morgan asked, interrupting the younger man. Reid shook his head. “Oh man. I’m so thankful I stopped when I did.”

Reid took another step backwards, once again moving away from Morgan’s touch. “You don’t want me because . . .”

“Whoa, hold on there. You’re jumping to the wrong conclusion, Spencer,” Morgan said, taking a step forward. Reid tried to back further from him, causing the dark-skinned agent to reach out and grasp the younger man’s arm. Reid stayed out of his reach though until he backed himself into the wall. Morgan finally was able to grasp both of the younger man’s hands. “I didn’t say that because I don’t want you. I said that because what happened the other night should not be the first experience that you have with sex.”

“I just wanted to give you what you needed,” Reid told him.

“Pretty Boy, don’t ever go along with something you don’t want to do, or aren’t ready for just because you’re trying to please me. I don’t want that. That isn’t what a real relationship is about. I’ll admit I’m still learning about relationships which are more than just one night stands, but I do know they’re about two people and we both need to be comfortable with how our relationship is developing.”

“Then you weren’t mad.”

“No. I was ashamed. That’s why I went to sleep on the couch.”

“It’s okay, Derek. I know you feel like things are slipping out of your control right now, and I know you don’t like that feeling. I figured if taking our relationship further physically allowed you to feel more in control, then it would be okay. I didn’t anticipate all the emotions that would come with it though.”

“I know, and it’s okay. We’ll take this slow for you.”

“The only other person I’ve ever even kissed was Lila,” Reid admitted.

“We’ll take this really slow,” Morgan said. “One thing at a time,” he told him, walking back to the bed. He picked up the three books. “Did you buy these?”

Reid nodded. He was feeling a bit shocked from the turn the conversation had taken. 

“Good, then I can do this,” Morgan said, and taking a few steps, dropped the books into the trash can.

“Hey, I can still use those. I still don’t really know what to do beyond kissing,” Reid said, feeling his cheeks grow warm again.

“You pretty much go with what both people involved feel comfortable with,” Morgan said, crossing back over to the bed and sitting down on the end of it, his eyes on Reid who hadn’t moved from the wall.

“But how . . . “ Reid started, and paused trying to decide how to voice his feelings. “How am I supposed to learn what the options are?”

“I think it’s something better learned first hand, and I’m more than willing to be your teacher. “Perhaps lesson one should be on how good kisses to parts other than the head and neck area can feel,” Morgan said, not wanting to pressure Reid into anything but wanting to get his hands on him after the last few days of being apart.

Reid finally moved away from the wall and walked over to where Morgan sat. Despite the oncoming headache, he did want to feel Morgan’s hands on his body. Part of him hoped that the activity might distract him from his throbbing temples. Reaching the bed, Reid straddled Morgan’s lap, their lips seeking one another out. Before long, both men’s shirts were gone and Reid found himself lying on his back on the bed, as Morgan’s lips explored his bare torso. Suddenly he gave a gasp as he felt the other man’s tongue start its own exploration. 

“Like this option?” Morgan asked, pausing only long enough to get the words out.

“Yes,” Reid replied, his fingers tightening around Morgan’s biceps, as the older man supported himself with a hand on either side of him.

He felt Morgan’s weight shift, as the older man changed his position. “I’ve got another option for you too,” he said, as he moved so that his lips could find Reid’s once again. As he pressed his mouth against the younger man’s, he shifted his weight to his right arm, his left hand looking for the waistband of the flannel pants Reid was wearing.

~*~

Waking from the light sleep he had finally fallen into, Morgan glanced at the alarm clock. It was four-thirty in the morning. Probably about the time he should be heading back to his room as while they could easily explain his presence in Reid’s room, explaining why he was still wearing the same clothes as the day before would be a little harder. 

The lamp on the desk cast a soft glow over the room. He glanced down at Reid, whose head was cradled in his arms and saw that the other man’s eyes were still opened.

“Did you sleep at all?” Morgan asked softly.

“No,” came the soft reply.

“Is it something I . . .”

“No,” he replied quickly, not letting Morgan finish the question. “I just can’t sleep,” Reid told him, not wanting to admit that his headache, though still only a dull throb compared to some of the ones he’d had, was still present.

“I was going to head back to my room but if you want me to stay, I will.”

“And what do you plan on telling our co-workers if they see you leaving my room with the same clothes you were wearing yesterday.”

“If you want me to stay, I can think of something if that happens,” Morgan said softly.

“No, Morgan. Go,” Reid replied, propping himself up on one elbow, so that his head was no longer resting on Morgan’s arm. As soon as Morgan had moved his arm, Reid laid back down, his head now on the pillow.

Morgan looked down at Reid, a look of concern on his face. Something wasn’t right and it was more than just Emily’s death as the feeling had been with him before that. Leaning down, Morgan placed a kiss on the younger man’s forehead.

“I’m trying to be patient, Spencer, but I’ve got to tell you, I’m worried about what you’re not telling me, ” he said softly, not expecting a reply from the younger man, but wanting to say the words. To get the sentiment out there and hopefully help to spur his boyfriend into confiding in him.

With that said, Morgan got up and grabbed his discarded shirt off the floor. Pulling it over his head, he grabbed his cell phone and key card, and headed quietly for the door, knowing he would be keeping a close eye on the younger man today.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The characters of Criminal Minds are not mine, I'm just borrowing them for entertainment purposes. Again dialogue from the episode "With Friends Like These" appears in this chapter.

As he had promised himself in the early hours of the day, Morgan had kept a close eye on Reid while the team was together. Had watched as he moved food around the plate more than ate anything during breakfast. Kept casting glances at him as the team finished up the profile in time to give it to the cops during the morning shift’s roll call meeting. Had even kept glancing at the younger agent while they were giving the briefing.

It was clear to Morgan during the briefing that Reid was uncomfortable. He was shifting nervously, looking down at the floor or his fingers most of the time. When Hotch had asked him to give the geographical portion of the profile, Reid had turned over the map and said very little and what he had said contained none of his usual enthusiasm for the job. 

Now Morgan was simply watching for an opportunity to speak alone with Reid. As he had told Reid earlier, he had been trying to be patient even though no one had ever accused Derek Morgan of being a patient man. Right now, it was all he could do to stop himself from grabbing a hold of Reid and demanding to know what was going on, without a care as to who was watching. The only thing that kept that impulse in check was the vision in his mind. The vision of Reid’s scared expression that he had seen several time when he showed the raw, violent, emotion that he struggled constantly to keep under control. The expression he’d had at the hospital after Penelope had been shot, and Reid had told him to stay calm. Even through his anger, he had seen Reid take a step back as he angrily told him not to tell him what to feel. The same expression that had been on the young genius’ face the other night as he backed away from him.

As much as he wanted answers, Morgan knew that wasn’t the way to go about getting them. That to do so would only cause Reid to draw away in fright. ~And why not?~ Morgan asked himself. ~ _I’ve certainly given him reason to be scared of me even though I’d never want to hurt him, though I know I could. If I were ever to lose control . . . ~_ Morgan let the thought trailed off. He didn’t want to dwell on that possibility, despite it always being in the back of his mind when he was with Reid. It had always been there, which was why despite teaching hand-to-hand at the Academy he had always insisted someone else spar with the younger agent. Oh, he’d be there to provide pointers but he would never actually practice the moves with him. Now though, Morgan knew it wasn’t just physical harm he could inflict on the younger agent. Even before they had admitted their feelings to one another, Morgan had realized the kind of pain he could cause the younger man emotionally and mentally as well. He had seen it when Elle had left and the younger man had tried blaming himself. Had seen it when Gideon had walked out on all of them and when JJ had been taken away from the team. Despite his inner strength, Morgan knew that Reid felt things deeply. He’d go on, but the wounds were always deep and took a long time to heal.

Then Morgan saw Reid head for the bathroom, and he saw his opportunity. He waited a few minutes before following and as he entered the room, found Reid at the sink splashing water on his face. Morgan saw Reid notice his entrance through the reflection on the mirror. Before he could say anything though, the younger agent started talking.

“You know that profile kind of makes it sound like schizophrenia leads to serial killing,” Reid commented as he reached for the paper towels.

The words took Morgan by surprise. He hadn’t been sure where the conversation would go when he walked into the bathroom, but this wasn’t the direction he had. “That isn’t what we said at all, Reid.”

“My mom has schizophrenia. There are many different types.”

“I know that,” Morgan said, trying to figure out where this was all going. 

“Catatonic. Disorganized. Just because somebody suffers from the inability to organize their thoughts or can’t bathe or feed themselves doesn’t mean that they stab someone in the chest thirty time post mortem.”

~This isn’t like him. He’s personalizing the profile way too much, ~ Morgan thought as he listened to what Reid was saying, watching him carefully. He knew there was something more to it and he had an idea of what that something was. Morgan knew suggesting it wouldn’t get him anywhere though. He needed to coax his friend into opening up.

“Reid, what’s really going on?”

“Our Unsub’s hallucinations aren’t fractured like a typical schizophrenic. They’re vivid and clear, leading me to believe that we’re missing an important variable. Rather than making crazy conjectures, I think we should be trying to figure out what it is.”

~ _This isn’t just about the case, Kid. Quit trying to pretend it is,_ ~ Morgan thought. Knowing that he was going to have to push a little to get Reid to open up, he decided to do just that. “Hey, listen to me. I know this is a scary time for you. It’s when schizophrenic breaks happen. Have you talked to anyone about this?”

“Emily.”

“Have you seen a doctor?” Morgan asked, noticing that Reid kept his gaze on the floor in front of them.

“They all say I’m fine,” Reid said, changing his gaze but not quite able to look at Morgan.

“Then why don’t you believe them?”

“Because predicting one’s chances of developing a genetic condition are like finding a penny in an ocean,” Reid replied finally looking up. “I have terrible headaches. I can’t sleep at night. I can’t focus on our cases. I only read five books last week.”

~ _The headaches. That’s what’s been going on with him all this time, ~_ Morgan realized, trying to reconcile his feelings of relief from finally knowing, his concern for his boyfriend’s health, and his anger at being kept in the dark for this long. ~ _This isn’t about what I want or feel right now. I need to show support for him, just like he’s been my support following Emily’s death.~_

“Come on Kid, you’ve got to cut yourself some slack. You’re also depressed about Prentiss, and I get it, we all are. Reid, I miss her every day, but if your mind was splitting, do you really think you’d be able to figure out that this team is missing a variable.”

“I’m just speculating that we are. I need to prove it,” Reid said, meeting Morgan’s gaze once again.

“Okay then, you do that. The moment you are wandering around the streets aimlessly, that’s when I’ll be concerned about you,” Morgan told him, feeling relief at the small smile that his words were able to get from the younger man, even as he looked down at the floor.

What Morgan wanted to do was wrap his arms around the younger man, and hold him tight. He was conscious of where they were though and the chance that someone might walk in on them, kept him from following that impulse.

“Come on, Pretty Boy,” Morgan said softly. “Let’s get to work.”

As the two of them walked out of the bathroom to rejoin the team, Morgan felt both relief and concern. Relief that Reid had finally confided in him but concern over his boyfriend’s well being. 

~*~

“Morgan, it’s late and Hotch wants us to get an early start in the morning. You should really go get some rest. I’m fine. Really,” Reid said, as he opened the door thirty minutes after the team had returned to the hotel. Hotch had called it a night for them after they had discussed what Reid and Morgan had learned from the priest.

“I know it’s late, and if you really want me to go back to my room, I will but I know I won’t be able to sleep well in that case, wondering if you’re able to sleep or not.”

“But the team . . .”

“I got it covered. So far no one has seen me and I’ve got a change of clothes,” Morgan said, holding up his go-bag that he held in his left hand. “If someone sees us leave together in the morning, we simply tell them I stopped by on my way down to the lobby.”

Reid hesitated. He knew they were running a risk. Knew that he would probably keep Morgan awake trying to sleep himself. What sleep he did get lately had been sporadic. Still, the most restful sleep he tended to get was when he was near Morgan. ~Perhaps with him here, I’ll be able to sleep, ~ Reid thought, even as he stepped aside to allow Morgan entry into the room.

Already ready for bed himself, Reid headed for the bed, climbing under the sheet and blanket as Morgan entered the bathroom. Reid lay facing the window as he listened to the sounds coming from the bathroom. He wasn’t sure this was a good idea. Knew they ran a risk of getting caught and yet he couldn’t deny that he wanted Morgan here. 

It wasn’t long before Morgan was coming out of the bathroom. The dark-skinned profiler turned off the lights, leaving the one on the desk on for Reid, as he walked toward the bed. Climbing into the empty side of the bed, he settled in next to Reid. Lying on his left hip, and propping himself up on his elbow, he reached out to rest his hand on the younger man’s shoulder. He felt his boyfriend tense up at his touch.

With a sigh of frustration, Morgan laid back in the bed. Here he thought he had made progress with Reid, but it didn’t seem like he had. He considered getting up and heading back to his own room, but he held himself in check. Morgan knew that action would hurt Reid deeply and he didn’t want to do that. Instead, Morgan settled onto the bed, his head sinking into the soft, hotel pillow. Too soft for his liking really as he preferred a firmer pillow. He stared up at the ceiling, aware of Reid’s breathing beside him. He knew the younger man wasn’t sleeping either so he wasn’t too surprised when Reid spoke.

“Morgan, what if I do have a schizophrenic break?” Reid asked, his voice trembling with fear as he asked the question.

Morgan paused, not sure where Reid was going with the question. “What do you mean?”

“Well, granted I did put my Mom in a sanitarium but I do still love her. I only did what I thought was best for her. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t provide her with the care that she needed but I do still try my best to let her know I love her.”

“I know that, Spencer, and your mom knows that you love her.”

“If I get sick too, who continues to look out for her?” Reid asked. His voice lowered to a whisper as he voiced the next question. “Who looks after me?”

“I will, Kid. Though I hope it never comes to that, I won’t turn my back on you when you need me the most. I love you and you don’t turn your back on people you love when they need you the most.”

As he finished speaking, he felt Reid shift his wait on the bed. Looking in the younger man’s direction, he saw Reid turning and moving toward him. Hesitantly, the younger man moved so that his one arm lay across his chest, his hand grasping his right shoulder, with Reid’s head resting on his chest. Morgan looped his left hand up and entwined his fingers into Reid’s hair as his right hand came to rest on the younger man’s back.

“Is that why you hesitated to tell me about the headaches?” Morgan asked softly, relieved that Reid was seeking him out for comfort. “Were you afraid I’d walk away?”

“So many people in my life already have,” Reid replied, not moving from his position.

“I’m not those people, Pretty Boy. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You don’t know that.”

“What?”

“Prentiss . . .”

“Prentiss left to protect us and then was killed by Doyle,” Morgan said. “Please tell me you don’t blame her . . .”

“No, of course not but she was taken away and you can’t really promise me that you’re not going anywhere. I mean statistics say that a cop’s life . . .”

“We’re not statistics, Spencer,” Morgan said to interrupt him. “Would it make you feel better if I tell you I’m not going anywhere voluntarily?” he asked.

“That is a more logical promise and one that you can realistically keep.”

“Then I promise you that no matter what happens, I’m not going to leave you voluntarily,” Morgan said, lifting his head from the pillow to kiss the top of Reid’s head.

“Morgan, how are you really doing with handling Emily’s death? You’re not still blaming yourself, are you?” Reid asked.

“Like I said, I still miss her every day but no, I’m not still blaming myself. You’re right, we did everything we could, it just wasn’t enough and if I could get my hands on Doyle, well I don’t think I need to explain to you what I would do to him. I’m angry that we lost her that way. Angry that we couldn’t do enough to save her but I’m going to be okay. I’m going to go on living my life, because that is what Emily would want us to do.”

He felt Reid take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m relieved, because I don’t think I can do this much longer.”

“Do what?” Morgan asked, concerned.

“Be strong for you. I wanted to show you that I can be strong. That you don’t always need to protect me, but it’s been so hard and I know that Emily wouldn’t want us continuously grieving her, but I don’t think I can really let her go without having a chance to let out all these emotions I feel are bottled up inside.”

“You don’t need to prove to me that you’re strong. I know that Spencer. In some ways, you’re stronger than I am. You’ve been such a comfort to me these last few days. You’ve held me when I had to shed some tears. You’ve helped me keep things in perspective. If I haven’t told you that, I am so thankful to you for that but I’m going to be okay now, so go ahead and do whatever you need to do to be able to let this all go. I’m here and willing to take my turn at doing the comforting,” Morgan told him softly.

The last words had just left his lips when he felt the first sob shudder through Reid’s body. Morgan tightened his hold on the younger man, rubbing circles on his back and pressing his head gently to his chest with the hand still entwined in the younger man’s brown hair.

“That’s it. Let it out,” Morgan murmured. He held the young man close to him, letting Reid get out all the pent up emotions that had been building up inside him. It was something that he knew his boyfriend needed.

Finally, Reid’s body stilled as sleep claimed him. Morgan could still feel the dampness of his shirt, from being doused in the younger man’s tears. Removing his fingers from Reid’s hair, he ran a hand back across the top of his head, before settling in behind his own head, leaving his other arm across Reid’s back.

_~Now perhaps we can both finally start the healing process,_ ~ Morgan thought, as he laid staring up at the ceiling.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The characters of Criminal Minds are not mine, I'm just borrowing them for entertainment purposes.

Though half-asleep himself, Morgan felt Reid shift restlessly in the bed beside him again. What he wanted to do, was keep his eyes closed and try to ignore the movement. He hadn’t slept on the flight back from the case, feeling too wound up to do so. Still able to clearly see their UnSub charging Reid with the knife, even as he had hesitated to pull the trigger. The only thing he could think of was how much Jack Vaughn shooting Ryan Phillips in front of Reid had bothered the younger agent. That the last thing he wanted to do was shoot this UnSub in front of Reid, especially given how much his boyfriend was personalizing the case this time around. Morgan had been about to squeeze the trigger when he heard the sound of Hotch’s shot going off, and the UnSub fell harmlessly at Reid’s feet.

Now that they were home, and he felt calm enough to sleep, Reid, who had slept peacefully on the jet, was keeping him awake. Rolling over, Morgan opened his eyes to see Reid lying on his back, staring at the ceiling. 

“Am I keeping you awake?” Reid asked before Morgan could say anything.

“Don’t worry about it. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Just having a hard time falling back to sleep,” Reid said, as he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

“Where are you going?” Morgan asked.

“To the living room. I’m going to try reading and see if that helps me fall asleep. There’s no reason for me to stay here and keep you awake.”

Morgan couldn’t think of anything to say to that. He watched as Reid left the room, staring at the door for several minutes after the younger man had disappeared from sight. Then with a sigh, he turned over and closed his eyes. Morgan found that he still couldn’t quite fall asleep. After awhile he decided to go check on Reid.

Walking out to the living room, Morgan found Reid laying on the couch. The younger man was wearing the glasses that he seldom used anymore, and had fallen asleep, the book he was reading now laying on his chest. The dark-skinned man couldn’t help but smile at the sight, thinking that it was one of the most innocent sights he could see. Right up there with little Henry falling asleep in his mother’s arms.

Quietly, Morgan approached the couch. He slipped the book carefully out from underneath Reid’s hands. Closing it, he placed it on the end table. Then Morgan tried to ease the glasses from the younger man’s face without waking him up. Reid stirred a little but remained sleeping, as Morgan sat the glasses on top of the book. Grabbing the afghan from the back of the couch, he covered Reid with it. He took a few steps in the direction and then stopped and turned back.

~ _This is what love is_ , ~ Morgan thought, as he looked down on his boyfriend’s sleeping form. _~Caring about someone else more than yourself. Wanting to do everything in your power to keep them safe and make sure they’re comfortable. Putting their needs above your own all the while they’re more than willing to do the same thing for you. I now know what mom meant when she told me that love is holding out a hand to someone else while at the same time accepting the hand they’re holding out to you, and holding on through the good times and the bad_.~

Morgan walked back to the couch and leaning over the back, gently pressed a kiss against Reid’s forehead. The younger man didn’t stir as Morgan headed back to the bedroom. Climbing into his bed, he was soon joined by Clooney, the German Shepard making himself comfortable on the foot of the bed. Knowing that Reid was sleeping peacefully now, it didn’t take Morgan long at all to fall asleep.

~*~

It was a warm day for March, the temperature nearing seventy by noon. With the sun shining brightly, many people were taking advantage of the good weather. As Morgan parked his car along the curb, he saw people of all ages walking or jogging by. He wouldn’t have minded enjoying the day himself, it bing Saturday and him not having to work, but he couldn’t until he figured out where Reid had gotten too.

Reid had headed home after work yesterday afternoon, having dealt with one of his headaches all day. He had declined the offer of a ride home, telling Morgan to join Penelope, Kevin and Seaver for an evening out on the town. Though Morgan had joined the three of them for dinner, he had cut the night short. While his three co-workers had headed for a bar to listen to some live music, he had gone to Reid’s apartment to checkup on the younger man.

There had been no answer to his knock, so Morgan had used his key to enter the apartment. His boyfriend had retreated to his bed already. The only light on in the apartment had been the small lamp in the bedroom which was always on, just like there was always a lamp left on at Morgan’s house whenever Reid spent the night. Reid hadn’t been sleeping though, and though Morgan had tried to do things to make him more comfortable, it hadn’t helped much. He thought that the younger man had still looked miserable when he had finally left at almost eleven last night.

The first thing Morgan had tried to do this morning was call and check on Reid. When there was no answer to either the apartment phone or Reid’s cell phone, Morgan had headed over to the apartment. He had found the apartment empty. Standing in the empty apartment he had called JJ, to see if the genius had gone to spend time with her and his godson. JJ hadn’t seen or heard from him, and it had taken him a few minutes to calm her down, insisting that he was sure there was nothing wrong. That incident had stopped him from calling anyone else, not wanting to have to repeat the process. If JJ had started to worry, he knew Garcia, whom often insisted that she was pretty sure worrying about them was in her job description, would freak on him. 

After calling JJ, he had tried Reid’s cell phone a couple of more times, and had only gotten the genius’ voice mail. He hadn’t bothered with a message after the first time. He had checked the chess boards at the park, knowing Reid often went there. Finding only a couple of guys a bit older than himself, engaged in a game, Morgan had then tried several other places, striking out at each of them. 

~ _If he isn’t here, I don’t know where else to look_ , ~ Morgan thought worriedly, as he shut the door to his SUV and headed for the cemetery gate.

Walking through the gate, he made his way toward the grave he had stood at not that long ago, as one of his good friends and colleague had been laid to rest. There were a few other people in the cemetery, paying respects to loved ones they had lost. Morgan found himself trying to keep his eyes straight ahead, not wanting to intrude on the private moments of others, all at different stages in the five stages of grief model. 

~At least I’ve moved past the denial stage of Emily’s death. She’s gone. Doyle took her from us and even killing the SOB won’t bring her back, ~ Morgan thought, clenching his fingers into fists. It might not bring her back but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t like to get his hands around Doyle’s neck.

His hands were still clenched in fists, as the grave of Emily Prentiss came into sight. Morgan noticed a figure sitting on the ground by the grave. Though the person had his back to him, the dark-skinned profiler knew he had finally located Reid. He felt relief and concern at the same time.

Reid made no indication that he heard Morgan’s approach as the older agent made his way up behind him.

“Reid? You okay?” Morgan asked quietly as he stood behind the genius.

“I’m not really sure how to answer that question,” Reid replied quietly, his eyes still focused on the headstone at the top of the grave, through the sunglasses that he wore.

Having prepared himself for the simple answer of “I’m, fine,” Morgan took some comfort in the non-answer to his question. Reid at least wasn’t trying to shut down the attempted conversation. Sitting down on the ground behind him, Morgan placed a hand gently on Reid’s left shoulder.

“I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all morning,” Morgan said, choosing to start things off with trying to get an explanation for why Reid seemed to be avoiding everyone today. 

“I never turned the cell phone on. I wanted things quiet, which I guess is one of the reasons I ended up here.”

Morgan became aware of the lack of noise where they were. The grave was toward the middle of the cemetery, so the noise from even the traffic on the surrounding street was faint. There were no voices to be overheard. The only real sound beside their own words were the soft sounds of the birds in the nearby trees.

“You still have the headache, then?” 

Morgan had unconsciously dropped his voice even lower as he asked the question. Though Reid had said he had been to several doctors already, Morgan was on the verge of assisting that they go to another one. There had to be something that could be done and he hated seeing the younger man suffer like this.

“It’s not as bad this morning. I think it’s in the process of going away.”

“Well that’s at least a step in the right direction,” Morgan replied. “So, what’s the reason for avoiding me this morning?”

“I’m not avoiding you.”

“I’ve spent most of my morning looking for you. I can understand not wanting the phone on, it gets on my nerves sometimes, but you could have left me a note where you were going, or gave me a quick call. I told you last night when I left that I’d check back in on you in the morning.”

“I’m sorry,” Reid replied. “I guess I just wanted some time to myself.”

“What about now? Do you want me to leave?”

“You don’t have too,” Reid said, not wanting Morgan to leave now that the older man had found him. The two sat in comfortable silence for a little while. It was finally Reid who spoke again. “I’ve been trying to figure out what it is I’ve done wrong that people I care about are being taken suddenly out of my life. First it was JJ and now Emily is gone. I keep expecting something to happen to you or that you’ll just get tired of dealing with me and all my issues and take the next promotion that comes along.”

“Spencer, no promotion is worth having to leave you.”

“What if you’re forced to . . .”

“I’ll quit before I let them make me go anywhere,” Morgan said, not even letting Reid finish the question.

“I keep trying to think of what I can do to keep things from changing. How dealing with these headaches is fine just as long as no one else gets taken away from me.”

“Kid, it’s out of our control. There is nothing you can do to change things like that.”

“Logically, I know that but emotionally I guess I’m still in the bargaining stage of the grief process. I know there is no way to bring Emily back but I just can’t deal with losing anyone else. I’ve already had thoughts about needing something to help me escape everything and I know what will give me that escape.”

Morgan knew exactly what Reid was referring to, having helped his friend through the period following his addiction problem. He knew there had been several times that he had thought about going back to the drug, and to hear the talk this time didn’t surprise him like he thought it should. Not with how things were going for the entire team here lately. That didn’t mean he was about to let the younger man take that step backwards.

“Don’t even go there, Spencer. You’re stronger than that.”

“Am I?” Reid asked in a voice that sounded very uncertain.

“Yes. Without a doubt.”

“I’m just so tired,” Reid responded, his voice conveying that feeling. 

Morgan wasn’t sure if he was speaking of being physically or emotionally tired. ~ _Or perhaps it’s a little bit of both,_ ~ Morgan thought, as he gazed at the younger man sitting in front of him. ~ _As much as he knows, there are still some things that he’s still learning,_ ~ Morgan mused.

“Then perhaps its time you let me go back to doing what I’m good at and be the strong one for a while. It’s okay and it’s not a sign of weakness to accept strength from someone whom you care about. You’ve shown me that. Just like you’re showing me what it means to be in a long term relationship and want to live your life for someone else. You’re that person I want to live my life for Reid, and I’ll do anything for you willingly as I’ve got the reassurance that you’ll do the same for me.”

Reid glanced back over his shoulder. He reached up with one hand and removed the sunglasses. “You really love me that much?”

“Yes,” Morgan replied, without missing a beat. He held the younger man’s steady gaze, reading all the emotions that were there - love, hope, and fear. Feelings that echoed what he was feeling inside. “I’ve never been in a long-term relationship before. I’ve never wanted that before this. Now, I know the one thing I want in my life is you. I love you. ”

“I’m not sure I can return those feelings. I want to but I’m not sure I know how.”

“I think we’re both in uncharted waters here, Pretty Boy, but the nice thing about that is that this is something we can learn about together. Oh, I’m sure we’ll make some mistakes, and hit some rough patches, but we’re going to be okay,” Morgan told him.

Having leaned closer to Reid as he spoke, Morgan started to press his lips against the younger man’s. Reid instantly pulled away.

“Morgan, we’re kind of out in the open here.”

“So? Are you ashamed to be seen kissing me?”

“No, it’s not that. I just thought that we decided not to tell our co-workers about us, yet.”

“What are the chances that one of them will show up here?” Morgan asked. 

Reid started to answer the question, but didn’t get too far as Morgan pressed his lips up against the genius’ lips. The maneuver effectively silenced the younger man, who was soon returning the kiss.

“Well, this isn’t exactly the most romantic place to be doing that?” an all to familiar voice said.

Morgan and Reid stopped their kiss. Reid turned back around to face the grave, ducking his head. Morgan gently grabbed his upper arm to keep the younger man from bolting even as he turned his head to look in the direction of the voice.

“Hey, Rossi,” Morgan said casually, looking up at the older profiler who was holding a bouquet of yellow roses.

“Nice day, isn’t it,” Rossi commented casually as he stepped past his two co-workers sitting on the ground to place the yellow roses at the base of the headstone.

“Yeah, it is. It’s hard to believe that it is still March,” Morgan answered casually, trying to gauge his co-worker. 

Morgan watched his co-worker as Rossi stood, with his head bowed for a few moments, as he paid his respects to his fallen comrade. The dark-skinned agent wondered what was going through the older gentleman’s head. He hadn’t seemed at all surprised by what he had walked up on. Did he really not care or was he choosing to be discreet about it now, and use it against them when the time was right? Morgan dismissed the final thought. Perhaps that might have been a valid option back when Rossi had first joined the team, but Morgan didn’t believe the older man was capable of doing that to any member of the team. 

“You’re not going to tell anyone about us, are you?” Reid asked, his voice trembling.

Morgan caught the look of surprise that quickly crossed Rossi’s face at the question.

“What the two of you choose to do on your free time is none of my business,” Rossi replied, his expression neutral once again. “However, if either of you tries flirting with me, then we might have an issue” he added, trying to lighten the mood.

Reid ducked his head at the comment.

“You’re not my type, Rossi,” Morgan replied, without missing a beat.

“Yeah, that’s obvious,” Rossi replied, waving his hand in Reid’s direction. “I’ve got to tell you though, when the others start finding out, you’re going to find that not many of them will be surprised. We’ve all been speculating that something was going on with the two of you for the last several weeks.”

“This is a bad idea. We’re going to end up getting fired,” Reid said softly. As it wasn’t the first time, he had expressed those sentiments, the words didn’t surprise Morgan.

“If so, it’s worth it. You’re worth it,” Morgan told him.

“Just keep it low key at the office and you two will be fine,” Rossi told him. “No one on the team is going to make a fuss out of it and if someone else figures it out and tries to cause trouble, let me know. I can make almost anything go away.”

“Thanks, Rossi,” Morgan said, knowing that both he and Reid planned to keep their relationship from interfering with their work life. It was nice to know their colleague would have their back if it came to that though.

“I’ll leave you two love birds to your own devices,” Rossi added mischievously, as he started to walk away. “I’ll see you both on Monday morning.”

Morgan and Reid both said a farewell to the legendary profiler as he walked away. Alone again, Morgan leaned forward to kiss Reid again but the younger man pulled away.

“I’m not taking the risk of one of the others walking up on us,” Reid protested.

“Statistically speaking, isn’t that chance very low, especially after Rossi just popped by,” Morgan argued.

“Yes, but apparently when it comes to you and I, statistics can be thrown right out the window. We’ve now been caught by both JJ and Rossi. It seems like anytime we kiss outside the safety of one of our homes, someone is going to catch us. For all we know, next time it will be Strauss.”

Morgan grinned at that image. “Man, I would love to see her face if that should happen.”

“Not me,” Reid told him, not finding the situation at all amusing.

Morgan leaned in close, so that his lips just barely missed the younger man’s ears. “Have I ever told you how sexy you are when you take things so seriously?” he whispered.

“Whispering in my ear is not going to help your case,” Reid told him.

“Will the suggestion that we head back to my house get me anywhere?”

“I think I like that suggestion.”

Morgan stood up, and then reached out a hand to help Reid to his feet. The two headed in the direction of the gate. Though he fell in step with the younger man, Morgan didn’t attempt to make any physical contact with him, respecting that Reid was still uncomfortable with showing too much affection in public, especially just after their incident with Rossi. To his surprise though, he felt Reid slip his hand into his own. Morgan gave the slender hand a slight squeeze as they continued toward the car.

~*~

Monday morning came all too fast for the two profilers. Coming out of the bedroom after taking his shower, Morgan found Reid standing in front of the mirror on the bedroom wall.

“Maybe I should just call out this morning,” Reid said worriedly, peering intently into the mirror.

“Are you not feeling well?” Morgan asked, concern evident in his voice. He crossed the room quickly to stand beside Reid.

“No, it’s not that. It’s this,” Reid said, gesturing to the hickey on his neck. Morgan could tell Reid was feeling self-conscious about the love bite. 

“No one even has to know it’s there,” Morgan told him, unable to keep the grin off of his face. Moving so he was in front of the younger man he buttoned up the last couple of buttons on the dress shirt and then reached for the tie that was draped around Reid’s neck. It didn’t take him long at all to finish, the clothing effectively hiding the hickey. “There you go, out of sight.”

“Too bad it isn’t out of mind,” Reid said softly, peering around Morgan and into the mirror as if he could still see the mark.

“The only way anyone is going to know about it is if you draw attention to it or I tell them,” Morgan replied, walking toward the bed to don his socks and shoes.

“You wouldn’t?” Reid said, alarmed at the idea. 

“I might if you don’t relax,” Morgan said, as he sat down. “It’ll go away, so how about you finish getting ready for work. As lovely as those socks are, I think they would appreciate it if you add some shoes,” he added, smiling at the blue sock with anchors and the green one with trout on it.

With a sigh, Reid walked over to the other side of the bed and pulled out the shoes he had tucked underneath it. He put on the first shoe quietly, and then as he was pulling the second one on, addressed the older man sitting across the bed from him. “Hey, Morgan.”

“Yeah.”

“Remember how you said that in a relationship you go with whatever both people involved are comfortable with?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, if its okay with you, I’d prefer this being off limits,” Reid said, gesturing to the spot on his neck where the hickey was even though his back was to the other man.

Crawling across the bed, Morgan knelt behind Reid. “So, my Pretty Boy isn’t much into the stuff that leaves marks,” he whispered, putting his arms around Reid. “I can live with that. There is still quite a bit that I can teach you.”

“I’m more than willing to learn,” Reid replied, leaning back against Morgan. 

“Imagine that, me teaching things to a genius,” Morgan said, lightly as he tucked his chin into the crook of the younger man’s neck.

“Even genius’ have to get their knowledge from somewhere whether it is school, books . . . “

”Government reports,” Morgan supplied, his thoughts going to the memory of them discussing the traffic patterns of LA at the crime scene a couple of years ago.

Reid smiled as he pulled away from Morgan. “You really should start reading them. You can learn quite a bit and some of them are actually interesting,” the younger man said, as he got to his feet. 

“I don’t have to read them. I’ve got you to tell me what’s in them,” Morgan replied. “Where are you going?”

“Work,” Reid replied. “You’re coming aren’t you?” he asked, walking toward the door.

“What happened to calling out?” Morgan asked, as he climbed from the bed and started following Reid.

“Like you said, the shirt hides it. No one will know. I just need to act normally.”

“You’re such a tease,” Morgan told him, grabbing his jacket as he walked by the bed post it was draped over. He was trying to sound annoyed, but even to his own ears the words didn’t come out that way.

~ _Maybe he can be a tease, but he’s definitely worth it,_ ~ Morgan thought as the two headed out of the house and to the waiting SUV.


End file.
